Then...
- 12 years old
- El Dorado, California
Now...
- 33 years old
- Mapleton, Utah
- Stay-at-home-mom
My Story...
I remember getting this picture taken like it was yesterday. This is the only school picture I have in which I’m wearing my glasses. I liked my glasses, but I feel like other people didn’t like them, so I would only wear them at home or when I absolutely needed to at school. I was very shy and quiet as a kid, but I had a fun and obnoxious side to me that only my family and best friend Nina knew about. She’s the only person that has a copy of this picture. I remember her wanting it so bad because it represented me so well at the time. I remember I thought I looked good, like DJ Tanner from Full House, but more sophisticated. I knew I was a huge quiet nerd. My super awesome best friend brought out the best in me and I have a very supportive family. We all marched to the beat of our own drum. I never had the nicest clothes since there are 10 kids in my family, a new outfit was hard to come by. I just made do with what was handed down to me. That was just fine. I was grateful. I was never bullied as a kid, but I do remember girls in junior high asking me questions like “where did you get that shirt?” etc. because we both knew that I didn’t know. Someone probably gave it to me. I tried not to let stuff like that bother me. I knew it wasn’t important, that there is a bigger picture. My mom would always tell me the social playing field is leveled after High School, and that it won’t even exist. It wasn’t until I started to babysit and make my own money or a special shopping occasion with my mom that I would buy new clothes. I cherished those times!
It was hard for me to be myself and make friends. I figured everyone at school had already pegged me for the quiet girl. It was hard to break out of that mold. It was hard for me to try new things because I was afraid of what people would think of me or how I would look doing it. It wasn’t until my family moved away in the middle of my junior year that things started to change! I was very upset at first and I hated going to school where I didn’t know anyone and my best friend was gone. It wasn’t until the summer after my junior year I started making friends with a bunch of kids from church. I was the “new girl” and I could be exactly who I always knew I was. No one had any expectations of me. It was so freeing and fun! I found out that I could be a lot of fun around everyone, not just a few people!
As a mom I try to teach my kids to embrace any insecurity they have, to own it! I always fought against my insecurities and I think it made it worse. Once I embraced it, it was so much easier to move on and be “me!” I try to help my kids not care what other people think and have as much fun as they can even if they look like a big goof doing it!