Angela

Then...

• Age:12 years old
• Location:Spokane, Washington

Now...

• Age:42 years old
• Location:Phoenix, Arizona
• Occupation:Receptionist/Administrative/Published Author

My Story...

My mother decided I needed to cut my hair and get a perm when I entered seventh grade. Although her intentions were for me to look like the other girls, I did not. I had absolutely no clue what to do with the curly do.

Unlovable . . . Ugly . . .  Defective. That’s how I felt in Jr. High – the three most dreadful years of my life. I felt as though I had no control over my life and my school was a prison where I had to do my mandatory sentence.

My hair, glasses, modest clothes, and the fact that I cried a lot made me a target. Everyone was cruel toward me. I was bullied by my peers and by a neighbor – taunted, pushed, hit.  I even had Cheetos crushed in my hair on the bus. I didn’t find refuge among the teachers; some of them were even mean toward me. And of course I said things back, which only made me sound like a raving lunatic.

Due to my lack of confidence, not wanting to be in school, and writing my stories during class to escape, I didn’t get good grades until I was in the ninth grade. I used to tell everyone that I was going to become a published author. All but two teachers laughed at my dream. However, I found the courage within myself to believe for my future and, thankfully, not listen to them.  I wanted desperately to prove them wrong one day.

The class I hated the most was Gym. In my other classes, I could hide and escape ridicule, but in Gym I had to participate – more like stand there or dive out of the way as a ball came near me. I had no coordination and couldn’t hit, kick or catch a ball to save my life. I was always picked last for teams.

Those three years were really a dark time in my life. I didn’t fit in anywhere. I had two friends, one was an on and off friendship due to her other friend who didn’t like me. The other was abusive, which I didn’t realize at the time.

In the eighth grade I made a promise to myself: When I became strong, and when I found my voice, I would come back and help those who didn’t have a voice find theirs. I was 14 when I made this promise. It took me 25 years to discover who I was and to find a way to fulfill my promise.

I eventually replaced the glasses with contacts during my Junior year but remained awkward until I was around age 21. High School was better. I’d learned how to stand up for myself and was left alone. The day I graduated High School, I walked out the door and left all the hurt behind.

I attended my ten-year reunion not sure how I’d be received. It turned out to be very therapeutic and helped me move past issues I thought I’d resolved. I was pretty and surprised a lot of the girls. Surprisingly, the guys who never gave me the time of day in school, were sitting with me and talking to me. I ran into one of my classmates. We began talking about how we both didn’t feel like we fit in. She made fun of me in Jr. High, but now we are friends. I was there for her during a dark time in her life when no one else was interested in helping her. Isn’t it ironic how things work out?

I am now a published author and spend my time inspiring young girls to become confident, love themselves, and see the beauty within themselves because no one is unlovable, ugly or defective. I donate my book, The Confident Butterfly, to organizations for young girls and hand out books to girls I see while I’m out running errands. I want girls to know that they are not alone in their journey, to believe in their future, and realize that today is just a small part in the tapestry that will be woven by their lives.